Sunday, May 31, 2009

Is this a coincidence?

Funny, isn't it?...

The top ranked player in women's tennis at present: Dinara SAFINA
The present world no 2 in women's tennis : SERENA Williams

Is that a coincidence or what?

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

New baby in the family

Hi all - A new baby has joined the family. She was born this evening at around 3:45pm our time. Mom and baby are tired but doing well. Will post photographs soon.

Love, Ashish

Friday, May 22, 2009

my response to Pradeep's post on abortion...

My response was too long to post as a reply, so I had to start a new topic...I apologize for the length.

My opinion, for what it's worth (I hope I'm not being too blunt or candid):

When I think of the issue of abortion I think of a few other hot topic issues.

This is such a controversial subject here in the U.S. and in my family (my mom's mother died giving birth to her 8th child because she would not abort and her child died shortly after).

A lot of conservative Christians in the U.S. oppose teaching children about contraceptives as part of the sex education curriculum in schools, which usually occurs around 7th grade. One side of my family leans this way and from their point of view, when I've asked them, they strongly believe that to teach about contraceptives will only give children more of an incentive to engage in premarital sex. I don't know if there have been studies to actually support their views or alternative views on this, but I'm always of the opinion that knowledge is a good thing.

I think there's another side to it, at least with my family. If a woman gets pregnant outside of marriage there is a natural consequence. The thought being that as a result of our sinning, we face consequences, pregnancy being one of them. So, by teaching about contraceptives, we are therefore interfering with the consequence of sin. I don't personally believe pregnancy is the main consequence of pre-marital sex.

Regardless of whether our children learn about these things in school or not, they will learn about them at home. And, I actually prefer them hearing it from me first. I also plan to teach Safina about how to track her own unique cycle (something Ashish says he didn't even learn about in Medical school). I will use my life and my experience to hopefully prepare our children for what they will surely face growing up.

Contraceptives is one side of the issue - cultural mores is another. In the U.S., I believe women have more power to insist on using contraceptives to prevent 'unwanted' pregnancies. When I was working for World Relief, I learned how so many women around the world don't have this choice! The AIDS epidemic in Africa being a significant consequence of this. So, while teaching about abstinence before marriage works, for the most part, in the U.S. it doesn't always work in other parts of the world.

You can imagine the controversy of working for a Christian aid organization in the U.S. that follows the president's emergency plan for AIDS relief (ABC's) - abstinence, be faithful and correct and consistent condom usage.

Trying to gain financial support for this program was, and probably continues to be, a huge barrier!

So, I think the issue of contraceptives plays into the whole of the abortion debate.

I feel even more strongly that if women were truly given a choice, we would see a significant drop in abortions. I feel this way, especially with women who get pregnant young, are not married and are either homeless or are a few nights away. Really what choice do they have?

My grandma must have been an incredibly strong woman because she went home knowing when she was pregnant with her child that if she carried the baby to term she would most indefinitely die! What courage and conviction! She had a choice, a choice I cannot even fathom. Her choice left 7 children motherless and the ripple effects of that are seen to this day. But she made the choice. My grandfather wanted to abort.

I think this is why I love the organization our church supports, Robin's Nest! They are just a transitional home for young, unwed pregnant women, but they provide women with a choice! It's such a small, but to me, profound effort. And, all of the woman who have gone through the program have 'chosen' to keep their babies. They were taken to all of their prenatal check-ups, they were fed, had shelter for them and their babies, AND provided with resources to help them support themselves and their child after labor and delivery (things like job training, etc.)

I think it's so easy to talk the talk when it comes to abortion and in the U.S., at least, put a bumper sticker on our car saying we're PRO-LIFE. And, criticize and condemn. But, what are we really doing to prevent even the assumed 'need' for abortions. I strongly believe that in many ways the church in the U.S. is turning a blind eye to the root of the issue.

This couple who takes pregnant women in, take them in to their own home. I can't even begin to tell you how counter-cultural that is here in the U.S.

And, maybe it's just me, though I've talked with so many women about this - but if women truly had a choice, they wouldn't choose abortion.

Well, there's my two cents for what it's worth. I haven't had a chance to look at Obama's speech, yet. And, I probably didn't respond to Pradeep's question for the medical community - that's a whole other dicey topic. Maybe I'll let Ashish contribute to that side of the issue...

Love to you all,
juliana

Thursday, May 21, 2009

test results?

Is there any news on the exam you took, Pradeep?

Hope you are all doing well...

Monday, May 18, 2009

Evolving thoughts on abortion

I wonder if you have been following the controversy about President Obama's invitation to Notre Dame University to deliver the commencement speech.

For those who have not been following this story, here is a brief summary of the controversy.


This
is what happened at the ceremony.

I have been thinking about this subject of abortion over the past month. As you know, I have generally been against abortions, but was willing to consider that abortions could perhaps be done when the unborn child was likely to have serious disabilities. This past year of working with children with varying disabilities has changed that.

I now feel that all children are a gift from God, created in His likeness, and must be welcomed, loved and valued. They have much to contribute to us, and our families and society. We are enriched and blessed by living with them. After all, none of us is perfectly normal and yet we are perfectly loved in spite of our own eccentricities and disabilities.

Most of us studied India's Medical Termination of Pregnancy Act and learnt about when it is legal to perform an abortion. This is what the Act says:

"According to Section 3 – Sub section (2) of the MTP Act, a pregnancy may be terminated for the following indications :

1. If the pregnancy would involve a risk to the life of the pregnant woman or of grave injury to her physical and mental health.
2. If there is a substantial risk that if the child was born, it would suffer physical or mental abnormalities as to be seriously handicapped.

Explanations I and II further clarify the following indications

* Pregnancy alleged by the pregnant woman to have been caused by rape.
* Pregnancy resulting from a failure of any device used by any married woman or her husband for the purpose for limiting children."

Gradually, even the Christian doctors among us begin to think that what is legal is also what is right, and become more open to the idea of abortions for any of the reasons mentioned above. It is easy to understand how easily words like 'grave injury to mental health', 'serious handicap', 'failure of any device used by any married woman or her husband for the purpose for limiting children', etc, can be used to justify almost any abortion.

I mentioned in my previous post that one of my classmates had an abortion because she developed German Measles during her pregnancy, and there was a 53% chance of the baby being born with a congenital problem (like deafness or mental retardation).

So while this is not meant to be a position paper on abortion, let me just say that I can now think of only a very few instances in which I would agree with a decision to undergo an abortion.

Here are an interesting article on Choosing Not to Abort Babies with Disabilities

Here is John Piper's response to President Obama's statement on the anniversary of Roe vs Wade.

Friday, May 15, 2009

and we wait...

Thanks Ashita for your post!

We are well. Safina is enjoying spending her days with her Granny! There's just something special about grandparents and grandchildren just seem to know they are special and loved by them. It's pretty sweet how when Safina even just barely hears Granny's voice approaching, she'll abaondon whatever she is doing to run and give Granny a big snuggle!

Pradeep and Cheryl - please let us know the results of your exams. I'm sure it's a relief to have them over with, but now waiting for results can also be stressful.

The weather is quite pleasant here this spring. Usually it heats up and gets quite humid. I generally like to start running more consistantly outside this time of year. So, I'm a little disappointed that I can't this spring - especially with such great weather. But, we try to go for walks outside as often as we can and that helps cure my cabin fever a little.

Safina's imagination seems to be expanding quite a bit these days. And, will walk around the house having the most delightful conversations with people. Even with us, she enjoys telling us lots of stories. It's also incredible to see how strong her memory has become.

One of the great joys about being a mom is to experience Safina's growing faith. I think you mentioned something, Ashita about inclusivity/exclusivity, I'm not sure. But, it's just so amazing how Safina is so 'inclusive' when it comes to loving. And, she has no inhibitions. I had taken her grocery shopping with me and we were in the shop going up and down the aisles and she was singing 'Jesus loves me', at the top of her lungs, into this microphone Ashish had picked up at a second-hand sale. And, I couldn't help but smile and almost wish that I expressed my love for Jesus with that type of fervor and complete abandon! She teaches me a lot each day.

Anyway, I hope you are all well. We continue to stay busy somehow. Please keep us in your prayers, esp. Ashish - he seems to manage so much between consulting and his other work and time spent with us. I feel he gives the best of himself to us and somehow continues to make such strong business relationships. But, with the baby coming, I know the first few weeks/months will be quite challenging for us in terms of finding the right balance.

Love to you all,
juliana

Thursday, May 14, 2009

From Chennai Central

Got half an hour at the Chennai station. Hope its enough to make my second ever contribution to the family blog. I've been here to check out the community in Chennai. Also got to meet an old friend who has just had a baby and meet up with Sam and Sarah David. They asked after everyone. Met Sarah's dad, and she was remembering all the big dekchi's of fried rice and curries cooking in 24rr and all of us kids running in and out. Got to experience life and another L'arche community and am thankful that I am in Bangalore and not Chennai. First the weather is much better, and believe it or not the facilities are more basic which to me seems to result in a harder life!!!. It was good to observe a different way of functioning and also meet more people from a variety of backgrounds who choose to make this a way of life.

My posts (that’s the word right?) are not going to be frequent or brief. I have been checking this regularly though I don't write. Mostly for photos of Safina and Anand, and enjoying what others contribute and discuss. I can’t hear the sound but the last video of Anand is so cute. Also realized as I checked the blog in Bangalore that the devnagiri script I signed my name in could only be seen in Lamtaput, they have loaded Indian fonts on the computer….that explains my rather strange sign off on my first post . About what I want to be called on this blog Anugrah, – I am here as elsewhere, whatever I am to each of you….. However, to my nieces and nephews I’d like to be aunty ashita or ashita mausi or just ashita.… I have been aunty ashita for too long now to get used to anything else. Last week I've been reconnecting with Neetha and Arpana my first 'nieces' who still call me aunty though in their 20's. BTW There is a lot to be said on belonging, identity and what we are called!!!!

I am following what people write, but I find it very difficult to contribute on 15 minute stints at internet cafe's. I read some of your discussions on the Deborah interviews (which I could not see) and I thought of what someone on my trip to Orissa observed on two types of Christians he has encountered – center defining ones and circle defining ones. Does that make any sense to that discussion Pradeep and Anugrah? I think we definitely need to be centre defining ones - the centre being Jesus. It was interesting to talk this with people who have been directly affected by the trouble in Orissa, where they have been challenged in their understanding of God and themselves as God's people through it all. I could talk to Munna about sitting with Hindus during a Ganesh puja, an d thinking of his and Podu's family in khandamal. It was interesting, but I found more common ground with him, now than in all the years before. Maybe we both have journeyed from whatever ends more towards the centre??!

While you were having that discussion it was Passion Week, an important celebration in the l’arche communities though people come from different faiths or none at all. The high light of the week was the feet washing ceremony on Maundy Thursday, when everyone, to the best of their ability and comprehension participates. It has become a para-liturgy (Liturgy I recently discovered literally means communal response to the sacred) that is shared at all L’ arche celebrations. Jean Vanier when he writes about it in a book called ‘the scandal of service – Jesus washes our feet’, talks of how the celebrating the Eucharist reminds him of a broken church and humanity where all do not join in Jesus invitation to remember him together. At the same time Jesus demonstrated the washing of feet to which he also says follow my example. This is something that can be done across denominations, across faiths, across cultural, economically distinctive groups because fortunately the churches down the centuries have not taken this so much into their traditions to lay down rules of exclusivity to it. And to actually experience it was quite something for me. Imagine doing it within a marriage, within a family, within a community, an organization, a church…

This also reminds me of the book you mention Pradeep - the ragamuffin gospel. I read it a few years ago while still in Lamtaput. I honestly can;t remember the content, but what did you think of the cover picture? At that time, often on Sundays I would clean the compost pits of all the plastics instead of attending church. I remember interpreting the picture as a man sitting out side what seemed to me to be the closed door of a church...i was going through my firsts feelings of being an outsider within the Church. Have you ever felt that way? I felt it again here recently. I accompany some of the members here to the nearby catholic church. And on the first Sunday there, the invitation to communion was to all baptised in the Catholic Church. I didn't receive it.
I suddenly though I got a glimpse of how Anugrah may have felt at the Pritampura Church, or how my friend Jyoti felt at the Karigiri fellowship, when someone got up and testified against a hindu celebration in town that day, or may be how the people you mention Anugrah were reacting to Deborah's video. I haven’t actually seen the videos so I cant say for certain, but as a Christian I have been more judgmental and excluding than loving and accepting. And at the end of the day, that is what we are asked to do isn't it? love the lord our God and our neighbour....

Life back in Bangalore is busy, and is going to get busier. From June I will be the only female assistant. And no certainty of the two male assistants beyond July either. We were a team of 7 a month ago and have suddenly been stripped to 3. Some have left, others have been asked to leave and one young boy, Albert from Tamil Nadu (some of you might remember him) has been diagnosed with advanced renal failure. Its been very sad to hear his story and to try and comprehend the families reaction. They don't have money for the first dialysis which should have started last week, nor can they start thinking about a kidney transplant. Despite being promised assistance from some sources, theirs has been a reaction of disbelief. They took him back home for a second opinion, and do not think it as serious as the doctors here suggest. it hits me again how economic differences have such an impact on our choices, opportunities and even chances to simply live another day. I was thinking of your friend Nazeem? Anugrah, and wondering how he is doing. Was he one of the guys that Mark was training? Are there any options for treatment open to him?

I'm back in the house tomorrow and hope to join Pradeep's family at Tamara's B'day party over the weekend. Next week Sam and his parents and his in laws (that is a mouthful) may be visiting Asha Niketan too. I look forward to that. Great to hear your exams went well Pradeep. I did remember you off and on today....Ashish/ Juliana you should start mother blogging...any ways just read a note from her about Juliana's baby shower and Robin's nest and Safina being such a doll but as vain as the Suneetha's !!!!

still got more log in time...so I'm just rambling on and on. Just finished reading an interesting book called The Shack by William Young. For those who have the time to check it out on the Internet ... you can post a review - for others in my neighbourhood (South India), I'm happy to pass it on to you. Bytheway... a couple of friends I mentioned the blog asked if this is open for them to read???? what says the administrators and everyone else????

gotto to go now and find something to eat before my train leaves।

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Domestic flying in the US

Two writeups about a crash in Feb, and the contrast with the pilot who crashlanded in the Hudson River... here, and here. Scary, isn't it.

Tomorrow is my big exam! What news from Cheryl?

Thursday, May 7, 2009

First time blogger

Hi everyone,

I have been planning to contribute something here for a log time. It happens now. I thought I will give an update on what has been happening here.

There were a lot of activities at 24RR during the past few weeks. Ravi George from Lamtaput were here for a few days. Mummy's birth day, with special singing by a Quwali group was a major highlight. Granny went back to Hyderabad. Then we had our 37th wedding anniversary. Last week Nirupa had an emergency appendicitis operation in Scotland. All of us were there with the puliyels to help with ticket bookings for Shiela and to pray with them them.

However, the highlight of the past month was Cheryl's exams - preparation and writing. Cheryl has been remarkably cool this exam season and seems to be doing fairly well. Tomorrow is her last exam and they plan to go back to Seelampur.

Mummy has been busy finishing her report of the last assignment in Nepal. She leaves tonight to US. She is a bit nervous about travel, but is looking forward to the time with Ashish, Juliana and most of all with Safina. She will be there to welcome Safina's baby sister. I am trying to reconcile to the fact that I would be alone for five weeks.

I am currently reading a book "Language of God" by Francis Collins. More about that in the next posting.

I am asking Anugrah to down load and post some of the recent pictures.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Who's worth the effort?

Going through my Paediatric Surgery textbooks, while preparing for my exams next Thursday, I have been reading about a number of babies with many congenital deformities and syndromes.

Theologically, we have all wondered at the difficult questions about why there is so much suffering in the world, and why innocent babies go through so much pain and difficulty.

Practically speaking, in my department, we are still discussing whether it is 'worthwhile' to operate on babies with meningo-myelocoeles and neurological deficits (for instance). These babies have a deformity of their spines, and are born with a lump over their lower backs, containing brain fluid and bits of poorly formed spinal cord. Many of them will never be able to walk, pass urine or stool normally, and remain dependent for most of their lives. They will require a number of operations (which will not really improve their overall condition), and will die earlier than others their age.

One group of people feels these babies should be allowed to die, perhaps by permitting them to develop meningitis, and generally not being active about their treatment or neglecting them in other ways.

Another group believes we should operate to cover this spinal cord defect with skin after explaining the situation to the parents, and see how things go from there.

In the west, these defects are picked up on ultrasound before the child is born, and usually the child is aborted (which is almost the same position as the first group).

I have seen some of these children who were operated while babies, come back with all their problems around six or seven years of age. Sometimes, the parents are discouraged and upset, and not too keen on further treatment.

Many times, however, living with this child with disability has brought so much joy to these parents. They love the child dearly, and want us to do whatever is possible to help. They empty the child's bladder every three hours, and give enemas everyday to empty bowels. They carry the child around wherever they go. There is sorrow at the situation, but the child has enriched their lives in so many ways.

I know it is a difficult question: but I would like to know what the 'non-medical' folks among us think about this. Many of our decisions are made because of economic implications, or because of what the parents want. I suppose there are no clear-cut answers either. Here is an interesting video we came across last year.


Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Monday, May 4, 2009

Anand's expanding vocabulary

Its getting more difficult to video Anand these days. As soon as he sees the camera, he stops whatever he is doing and charges to the other side of the camera to see what is being videoed. We are learning to stay one step ahead of him! For this video, we quietly set the camera videoing on the side while we tried to get him to 'perform'. Here are some of the words he uses to communicate with us. It is so much fun to listen to the new words that develop almost every day.




When we finished, and showed Anand some of our videos, this was his response. The constant hum in the background is our ubiquitous cooler.