Paul Tripp
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If you are going to have a marriage that lives in unity, understanding, and love, you must have a little-moment approach to your marriage. God has crafted a life for us that does not careen from huge, consequential moment to huge, consequential moment. You can probably name only two or three life-changing situations you have lived through. Every day we lay little bricks on the foundation of what our life will be. The bricks of words said, actions taken, little decisions, little thoughts, and small-moment desires all work together to form the functional edifice that is your marriage.
So, you have to view yourself as a marital mason. You are daily on the job adding another layer of bricks that will determine the shape of your marriage for days, weeks, and years to come. Things in a marriage go bad progressively. Things become sweet and beautiful progressively. The problem is that we simply don’t pay attention, and because of this we allow ourselves to think, desire, say, and do things that we shouldn’t.
Here are a handful of helpful questions to consider
Do you fight for your own way in little things or see them as an opportunity to serve?
Do you allow yourself to go to bed irritated after a little disagreement?
Do you leave for work day after day without a moment of tenderness?
Do you allow yourself to do little rude things you would never have done in courtship?
Do you still ask for forgiveness in the little moments of wrong?
Do you complain about how the other does little things, when it really doesn’t make a difference?
Do you make decisions without consultation?
Do you invest in the friendship intimacy of your marriage?
Do you complain about the others weaknesses? Or do you see these as opportunities to encourage?
Do you search for little avenues to express love?
Do you keep records of wrongs?
Do you regularly express appreciation and respect?
Do you swallow little hurts that you once would’ve discussed?
Do you turn little requests into regular demands?
Read the rest of this post from the Crossway blog.
1 comment:
I appreciate this view of marriage. I don't know if you've heard of John Gottman. But, he is a clinical researcher on marriage and is considered by many to be an expert on marriage. His work is highly regarded here in the U.S.
In his book on marriage he talks about how so many of us think of romance as a two-week vacation destination, or a get-away without the kids, reliving our honey moon moments. But, in actuality, true romance is turning toward one another on a daily basis. Which I can truly resonate with. A moment by moment approach really is at the heart and soul of health in marriage. Plus an enormous amount of humility and love as described in 1 Corinthians.
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